Mary started preschool this week and, despite a difficult time letting me go (literally) the first day, she's had an awesome week and really seems to like being there.
Unfortunately, I don't like her teacher.
I mean Miss J is probably perfectly good at her job, I appreciate all she has done to make the environment safe for Mary who has severe food allergies, and I'm sure she is good for the kids. On dealing with parents, however, I give her a big thumbs down.
First of all, I know we started in mid-year, but I have been given absolutely nothing in the way of orienting information about school. Yes, we went and discussed food allergies with the teacher, but as far as day-to-day information -- nothing.
Here are some things I would expect as a child started school (at any point in the year):
- Contact information for the school/teacher.
- The names of the teachers working in the classroom, in this instance there are three there all the time a few others that rotate in and out. (The other day Mary said a man took her to the bathroom which I found odd since none of the three main teachers are men. Of course I know the school isn't letting random men in off the street to escort three-year-olds to the bathroom, but who was he?)
- A school calendar, so I'll know when they don't have school. When is spring break? Are they off on President's Day? I have no idea. And yes, some of that info is available online, but that is assuming I have internet access -- a question I have not been asked.
- Information about drop-off and pick-up procedures.
- Items needed for school. I sent Mary with a book bag and a change of clothing -- all labeled with her name. I did these things because I have spent a lot of time working in schools. But I would not assume that parents of three-year-olds, especially when it is the first one going to school, would automatically do those things. The change of clothing was removed from her bag and kept at school, so I'm thinking they did actually want one.
- Some sort of rough schedule/note about things that happen in the classroom each day. I don't need an itemized curriculum but do they read to the children? Do they schedule bathroom breaks? Is there free play time and structured time? Are they swinging on vines from the ceiling for two and a half hours? Mary is a very verbal three-year-old, but she is a three-year-old and I don't count on her to be the only source of information about what goes on all day. She's three!
The first day of school a blank notebook, with Mary's name on the front, appeared in her backpack, no explanation or anything. Because I used something similar when I taught, I imagine this is some kind of communication method??? But, um, how am I to know that?
I am also not thrilled with the way her teacher speaks to me. Yesterday, her second day of school, I walked her into the building like I had the first day (remember, I was given no information about drop-off procedure) and her teacher says to me, "You can just pull up to the curb and we'll come get her."
"Oh," I said, "I thought I'd walk her in this first week and then next week-"
"No, no," she interrupts me,"tomorrow you wait outside with the other parents."
I really can't convey her tone well here, but she spoke to me as though I was the three-year-old, or at least as if I were suffering from significant mental challenges. Plus, again, it is my three-year-old's first week of school!!! I understand if they have a policy about how they like to begin and end a day, but I am not particularly comfortable with a teacher who makes me feel like it isn't even okay to walk into the building from time to time. It isn't as though I am pulling up a chair in the back of her room and staying half the day to watch.
There are other things, but I'm feeling like maybe I should stop my ranting now. Basically I feel like the teacher doesn't respect me, which is really irritating.
I'm not stupid, I know that Mary is probably likely to have many teachers who I don't want to invite over for dinner and be best friends with, but I wish I wasn't feeling so meh about her first teacher.
As long as Mary's happy and enjoying school, which she is, I am going to try to do lots of deep breathing and not get my undies in a twist.
5 comments:
You know what? Not all preschool teachers are like the one on "Matilda"- all glowy and perfect and angelic. Some are just bitchy.
Hmph. Nope, I do not like her. Not one little bit. Maybe all preschool teachers are not like the one on Matilda, but they should be.
Or at least speak to other adults as if they are adults. Hmph.
Phew. I mean, that made my heart pressure rise just READING about it. And I know the tone you mean. That is really tough. I hope that as you get to know her she turns out to be better than first expected. Probably overly optimistic of me, but here's hoping.
I wouldn't like this either, AT ALL. We once had a teacher we felt like this about, in a classroom we felt like this about, and one thing Paul said to calm me down was that people who are really, really good with kids are not necessarily even slightly good with adults. So, like, the teacher might be GREAT with Mary but not be able to interact well with grown-ups.
The thing about a man escorting her to the bathroom, I think I would look into. Could it have been a female teacher with very short hair? (Or is it only my oblivious sons who make mistakes like that?)
Go by Mary's feelings about school. If she is having a positive experience, it's probably fine. Definitely look into who took her to the bathroom! You might schedule a conference with the teacher and ask her the questions you posed on your blog.
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