Seriously?

Okay, first, the disclaimer that I realize there are so many ways in which I could be much, MUCH worse off... my home is intact, my family is safe, we have food to eat and water to drink, we are in relatively good health, I have nothing to complain about, and yet...

The kids and I have been staying with the in-laws since Monday. Sunday our power went out and it may not be restored until this coming Sunday. And I am slowly going out of my mind. When I threw some things in duffle bags I was thinking the kids and I would be here for maybe two days. And we are rapidly closing in on one week.

I truly love Sam's parents. We get along wonderfully and I have no nightmarish in-law stories. But their house is not set up for children to live here. It is not set up for this many people to live here. I can't help feeling in the way. I'm lonely at night when Sam goes home to sleep and be with our poor dog. My in-laws have done nothing to make us feel unwelcome, and yet, I know it has to suck to have a baby and a preschooler and your daughter-in-law suddenly move in for some undefined amount of time, even if you love them. It's harder to keep the kids entertained without their stuff. There is NO privacy. I have only been out of this house twice since getting here Monday. The mattress here is all wrong so I wake up every morning with all kinds of body parts screaming in pain. I'm starting to feel suffocated. Is this better than being in our own house without power for a week eating dry cereal and take cold showers in the dark? Yes, of course, but it is growing less appealing by the hour. I'm SO jealous right now of the fact that my husband spends a third of every day at work. While I'm here trying to figure out how to be helpful, but not in the way, and keep the kids semi-entertained.

My mother in law, who I honestly normally love, is driving me crazy by insisting that this is no big deal for them. She says, "Oh I know it would just be easier for you to be back at home, but we really don't mind." But how could she possibly not mind? I think I would feel better if I heard her acknowledge that it's hard for them to have us here, at least a little. By insisting that things are all fine and dandy, she's making me feel like she is just lying about it, and then I worry that maybe she's really, REALLY upset that we're still here, but doesn't express it at all. It would be a different situation if we were at my parents' house. I would worry less that we were taking advantage of them. Maybe that's not right, but it's the way I feel. Even under the best circumstances, I don't think anyone wants to be unexpectedly living with their in-laws.

I feel like I'm under a microscope. I'm going out of my mind. I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. And I'm also frustrated with myself because, considering everything that is going on here, we are in one of the best possible situations and I have to work soooo hard to remind myself to be grateful.

This really, really, really sucks.